


Scott Lang and His Recipe

by IsabellaJack



Series: Scott Lang and the Gang [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 09:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10637379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabellaJack/pseuds/IsabellaJack
Summary: "Remember the cupcakes you made?""Yeah...what about them?""I...uh...I need the recipe."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I advise reading the previous parts to get this funny and dysfunctional friendship.

 

 

 

Scott Lang runs from under the door and gets engulfed by the darkness.

He unshrinks, and huffs.

"Whoa. That's some archive," he whispers.

"Scott, remember. Find the files and scan them. Do _not_ veer off the mission, Scott," Pym instructs carefully through the headset.

"When did I ever Hank, huh?"

"Oh, I don't know...I could give you a list."

Scott gets to it and looks for the needed files. Hank and Hope had already told him that they were going to be in aisle four but he doesn't know which shelf. Which is going to be a hassle to look for. Hope had said that it might be between letters L and P.

"Stop rubbing it in my face," Scott says. "I'm soon gonna be your son-in-law, Hank."

"WHAT?" A loud voice rings in his ear.

Scott flinches and realizes it's not Hank's. He shakes his head and secures his helmet around his head again.

The voice rings in his ear again. "Steve! Scott is engaged! Breaking news! Hope needs saving!"

Scott chokes on his own spit. "Barnes? Bucky?"

He leaves the box open, folders and papers forgotten as he tries to wrap his head around the fact that Barnes is in his head right now. Technically, he's hearing him through his headset but it's still jarring a bit.

_Why the fuck...?_

"Hank! What the hell is going on?"

Hank's voice comes through. "Sorry, Scott. James Barnes wanted to reach you and ask you about something. I had to put him through."

Scott opens the front of his helmet, and holds the area between his eyes. "And that couldn't wait?"

"Steve! Did you hear what I said? Scott is engaged," Barnes yells in the background.

"Hank-"

"Listen, Scott. I gotta go 'cause James wants to talk to you about something personal. He's a war hero Scott, for God's sake. I couldn’t say no. I'll leave you to him."

"Wait, what?" Scott almost yells out loud, so he covers his mouth with his gloved hand. He looks around and thankfully no one crashed the place to apprehend him.

Yet.

He's prepared to shrink quickly if it were to happen.

"He wanted to ask you something and I connected him to you. Come on Scott. You're an engineer, you know how that works," Hanks replied calmly. Scott can literally picture him smirking.

_The old bastard!_

"That's not what I'm..." Scott doesn't bother finishing as he hears Hank's voice fade and Barnes's is getting clearer. "Hey Barnes."

"You know...It's really bizarre that she said yes. Right, Steve?"

"Leave him alone Bucky," Steve's faint voice comes. Then he shouts. "Congratulations Scott. Happy for you."

Scott leans back as his fingers look through some of the papers. "Thanks Cap."

Bucky starts, "I'm NOT gonna congratulate you-"

"Not surprised."

"Until I talk to her. I have to make sure she was sober when she agreed to be your...wife." Barnes sounds disgusted and Scott doesn't really have the time for his games. He has a mission! He is _in_ a mission!

He moves to the next box. "Make it quick, Barnes. I'm literally working now."

Barnes sighs, irritated. "Fine. So, Steve's birthday is in a week-"

"Oh my God," Scott says softly. He stops searching and puts his hand to his heart, really touched. "Are you inviting me? 'cause I'll definitely clear my-"

"FUCK NO!"

_Figures._

"Why would you then-"

"What did I say that made you think-"

"You literally said party so-"

"Let me finish _Ant-Man_."

Scott shakes his head and decides to just humor Barnes while continuing to rummage through the old rusty boxes.

"Remember the cupcakes you made?"

"Yeah...what about them?"

"I...uh...I need the recipe."

"Oh, why?"

"Why? So I could read it and frame it-what kinda question is that, Lang? I need to bake some for Steve for his birthday," he whispers.

"Can't hear you whispering." Scott remembers how Steve was just talking to him seconds ago. "You can go to another room Barnes if you're gonna make it a surprise for him."

"And leave Steve outta my sight! Fuck no. Never again."

"So it's not a surprise birthday party then?" Scott pauses as he tries to picture what Cap's birthday would be like.

Probably so awesome! If he were invited, he'd go wearing a t-shirt with the shield in the center. And maybe wear those socks with the wings...

"I don't keep any secrets from my man, Scott," Bucky remarks.

Scott rolls his eyes and looks at the papers in the next box. "Do you take things literally?"

"You keeping secrets from Hope? That's not good for starting a marriage," Barnes says snarkily.

Scott face-palms. "Of course you'd go there."

"Give me the recipe."

"What's the magic word?" Scott asks, smirking. Mentally high-fiving himself.

"I will stab you," Barnes answers coldly.

Scott forgets what he's doing and where he is and chuckles loudly. He misses the sound of feet coming up behind him.

All it takes is seconds. Hank screams in his ear in warning and luckily his fingers work fast and he shrinks.

But it doesn't happen fast enough. He gets hit on the head before becoming the size of an insect.

It all gets blurry.

Scott tries to open his eyes and he feels the thump of feet. He tries to get up but everything is spinning.

He hears voices in his head.

"Lang! Lang! The fuck is going on?" a voice is yelling.

It's too loud.

"I swear to God...Mr. Pym, what's going on? Steve, Steve come here-I think he's hurt-I don't know what to do-" The voice sounds scared, Scott realizes hazily.

"Scott, it's me Steve. You okay?"

"I swear, Lang! I swear if you're pulling this shit so you could be invited, you will DEFINITELY not be invited. You hear me!"

"Bucky, stop yelling."

"Scott, can you hear me son?"

Finally, Scott is able to groan out loud.

"I'm coming to get you Lang and then kill you with my own metal fingers!"

"Mr. Pym, give us the coordinates. We'll be there."

That's Cap, Scott recognizes from the commanding voice.

It all makes sense now and Scott huffs out a breath as he lies under some papers. "No need. I can get out."

"Steve, give me the-Listen Lang," Barnes says heatedly. "You need to get your ass outta there _now_. For God's sake, you can't leave Cassie, you hear me? I won't let you jackass! I won't!"

"Bucky, let me talk to Pym," Steve says calmly.

Scott gets up. Somehow Barnes words get to him. He's right.

"Hank?" Scott mutters weakly.

"I'm here with you."

"Cover my back."

 

~~

 

Three days later, Scott is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

It's in the afternoon but he still doesn't feel like getting up.

His body is still pretty much sore from his last mission. And when his phone rings, he groans loudly as he moves to get it from the bedstand.

It's Hope.

"Hey honey."

"Why did I just receive a wedding gift from the Winter Soldier?" Hope asks, amusement in her voice.

"Wha..." Scott face-palms. "Oh God...it kinda slipped when he called me. You're not upset are you?"

Hope chuckles. "No, actually."

"Shit!" Scott sits up quickly and it causes him to hiss in pain. "I forgot to e-mail him the recipe."

"Okay, I think you still have time."

"You don't know him." And in spite of it, he smiles. He remembers how Barnes was ranting and the panic in his voice when he thought Scott had been killed.

"I do know that I like him. His gift is my number one favorite thing ever."

Scott frowns. "What is it?"

"It's a custom-made combat knife."

He rolls his eyes. "Of course."

"That's not the best part."

"Oh?"

"Engraved on it are the words...Only to Be Used On Husbands."

And then she guffaws. Guffaws!

"Are you serious right now?" He asks, concerned for a second.

"What? It's hilarious."

"I think it's..." He sighs. "It's _so_ Barnes."

"It is."

It's quiet and then she sighs. "Okay. Gotta go. I'll see you after work. Love ya."

"Love you too."

When she hangs up, he lies back and scrolls through his contacts.

He clicks on the name "Barnes" and sends a text:

**U R AN IDIOT.**

Five minutes later, he gets a reply:

**I'm just being chivalrous.**

**HA HA**

Ten minutes later he gets a text that is _not_ Barnes at all:

**You ok now?**

Scott smiles.

**Yeah.**

Then before sending that reply, Scott adds a heart emoji just for the heck of it. **< 3**

The response is immediate.

**NO.**

Scott is the one who guffaws this time.

 

 

 


End file.
